You Are Enough.

You-Are-Good-Enough

One of the many good suggestions I got from you as a reply to my last newsletter was the topic of not feeling worthy enough. So I thought I’ll take the topic of worthiness and show that at the core, which is what matters, you are 100% worthy of everything you can dream of.

The feeling of not being good enough or even inadequate can act as a very self-limiting belief, which would be like a self-fulfilling prophecy: It (you) will always get in your own way. On the other side, knowing that you are enough for what you want in your life is as important for your success as it could get.

Why Do You Feel Unworthy?

Before you read any further, if you feel not good enough sometimes, maybe you take a moment to think about that question and answer it…

…write it in the comments if you like (I would be truly interested).

I think the perceived unworthiness comes from a) differences you notice by comparing yourself, for instance not having the same skill level as your competitor in a job-application or by some other rejection or loss you have to face. Or it comes from b) the fear you have of not being able to live up to what you want by projecting yourself forward and anticipating a bad outcome.

The problem here is that when you feel unworthy, you make an identity out of your situation. You start to think the unpleasant situation equals yourself, therefore it will always be like this, you are just not good enough.

But this is all wrong.

You Are Already Perfect on the Inside.

At the core, we are all equal. Nobody is more worthy than somebody else. This is the truth.

Only when you realize that you are already perfect at you core, you are really able to shine with 100% authenticity. The real you. Not some kind of mask you are wearing, the role you are playing, or your try at being how you are supposed to be. That’s not necessary. And most of the time, people who care, would like to see the real you anyway.

That’s no invitation to stop working on yourself or to show your worst side unrestrained. That’s not what I mean. With trusting that at your core you are perfect, you just know that there is nothing wrong with you, you are good enough. Of course, on the outside you can improve your skills, but you don’t have to identify yourself over them.

Stop Comparing and Start Going Your Way.

After all, comparing and copying is an awful waste of your time. While you are trying to be as somebody else (a so-called celebrity?), fit in with a certain group or fulfill the attributes of a role you play, you miss out on being the real you. You not only waste your time at the moment, you will also need some time to forget all the wrong mind-programming of how you should be.

Trusting your inner self is the best thing you can do. You don’t need evidence or justification to trust yourself. You just do it. Only then you get the opportunity to let your inner beauty  shine through. That way you are in harmony on the inside and with what you reflect to the outside.

Forget About Worthiness.

One very deliberating way is to totally forget about the question of “Am I good enough?”

Just be.

Most of the time that question doesn’t matter at all, and you are the only one asking it.

By stop thinking about it, you can focus your energies on what is really present in fornt of you and over time you will feel worthy naturally, by just being you and being present.

Re-Interpreting What Happens

The situation is always neutral.

You always have the choice how you will re-interprete it in your mind. The meaning is up to you! Was it a valuable learning experience on your way to your goal, or did it mean that it’s all over now?

Sometimes this can be a challenge, especially when the society around you differentiates people on superficial levels.

Here is the antidote to that:

Just don’t go with it; in your head. Nobody can drag you down without your permission. And nobody has the right to do that.

If there is someone who tries to make you feel unworthy as a human being, just disapprove of that behavior. You know that at the core you are as worthy as you could be, as anybody could be.

If there is something that you still don’t know, just learn it. If there is something you don’t have, it doesn’t matter. Your core value is not diminished by that.

Equality

To come from the standpoint of equality has a much higher moral value and shows a strong and admirable character. You can be proud of that.

Of course there are differences on external things. When you lose a game your opponent was better than you, in playing the game. But your real value as a human being and your worthiness stays untouched and is the same for both players.

And I tell you what I personally think: Anybody who shows in his actions that he doesn’t believe in equality shows a poorness of character.

Let me know your thoughts about that in the comments!

About the Author

Myrko Thum

Myrko Thum is author and creator of THE SYSTEM, the holistic personal development training course based on the "Top-Down System". You can get a FREE 4 Video Intro-Course of THE SYSTEM here.

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16 Comments

  • Hi Myrko
    I feel it only fair that I respond when you request a response. My challenge was that I was heavily criticized as a child for being positive – told that I “offended” people by exhibiting my can do attitude. Therefore I withdrew until I aged into my 40′s. It was evident that some people were offended even then – but I learned that some people seem to be easily offended by those who are assertive and self-confident. There seems to be a “fine line” between assertiveness and aggression as well as between self-confidence and arrogance – that line being readily adjusted to adhere to the perceptions of the observers – perhaps for their own comfort – to suit their own limitations. Not certain about that – but I am certain that I must live to suit my comforts, not those of the observers. I am reminded of my visit to Russia – I was told that if I didn’t drink the vodka I would offend the host – I had to make a choice to offend the host or to offend myself.

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  • Myrko Thum

    March 13, 2013

    @Om Constient – AKA Richard, I had a similar environment when I grew up. Indeed, interacting with people can be somewhat challenging. But I learned if you have the patience to adjust somewhat, you can still bring your message across and might even get heard that way. It’s emotional intelligence and people-skills that help here.
    Of course, sometimes it might be necessary to just follow your own path and to stay with the topic with the post: just know that you are ok by being different.

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  • Esther

    March 13, 2013

    Thank you for these posts . It shed light on my situation.
    I really was identifying myself with my skills and abilities if the context of a special task -
    goal that I wanted to perform . But even in this frame , as you showed , we are not equal to our skills and abilities.
    About equality – it may be right or wrong – it’s hard to check.
    But on the skill level you can see that somebody can easily perform something that other cannot ,
    even if he is going to learn this “skill” for many years if not at all..
    Also , a person usually looses his motivation to learn when he/she sees that he isn’t as good at it as may be others. May be it’s all result of not being familiar with his/her “real” identity..
    Anyway , it’s still some unclear (for me) area of applying your veiw/ideas to “achieving goal” situation.

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  • Myrko Thum

    March 13, 2013

    @Esther, I think the core is to separate your self-identity from the achievements you have.

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  • Nick

    March 13, 2013

    Hello .
    My problem is that I feel that there is no hope in life for me , I felt this way since elementary school . Every time i tried something I failed in it or at the first mistake I was giving up . People say that
    I should try to do somehing I really like but I don’t like anything. The only thing I love is having careless fun..

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  • Jenna

    March 14, 2013

    When first asked the question, “why do you feel unworthy” the answer would be because for some reason, I have a deep sense that on some level, people feel uncomfortable with me. It probably stemmed from instances in my childhood where I was open, happy and free, and for seemingly no reason at all, people (adults and some peers) would get outraged at something I did or said. The memory now resides in my body; so whenever a situation arises that requires to be open, happy, and free around people, my body senses this like it’s some extreme life threatening situation and I literally have to unleash some emotion quick or else I’ll boil over.

    I completely agree on your point about these problems being too associated with identity. That’s exactly what I did when I was younger because I didn’t know better. Thank you for your posts, Mark, I find them extremely helpful when I’m feeling lost in the dark. :)

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  • Esther

    March 14, 2013

    @Myrko Thum: THANK YOU AGAIN, I’LL TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THAT.

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  • madhu

    March 14, 2013

    I totally agree with your view point and have felt the same Myrko.Thanks for putting forth your views publicly.I also feel that this idea is not limited to the human species alone but to every being on this planet.The world should have been devoid of adjectives.Or even if adjectives were there,there should not have been degrees to it. :)

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  • Shaun Rosenberg

    March 14, 2013

    I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and it’s made it harder to believe that I can become a success in life.

    But I know as long as put my heart into whatever I am doing and believe in myself I can accomplish anything. Thank you for the inspiration

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  • Lorna Harth

    March 29, 2013

    I have either been told outright or through actions that I am not good enough, unworthy, unlovable and somehow lacking or wrong; this has been the course of my life to date. If I asked or ask questions or state my needs I supposedly have no right and am somehow being unthankful/grateful, demanding or critical. I seem to have no rights to my feelings or thoughts, I have been told so many times that because I love to read, study and converse about social issues and such, that I am bad, too serious, boring and that I am wrong and bad for having a questioning and/or academic mind. As a child, if I asked a question concerning my families chosen religous views I was told to be quiet and accept and not to question ‘GOD”. Even though I know deep down that this is not true, it is hard for me to let go and move on and forwards from these long term instilled beliefs about my-self and I am starting to feel like I do not know who I am any-more. I will stop here and I am sorry for raving on, Lorna.

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  • Mans

    May 12, 2013

    It might not have the best reputation, but trying to meet new attractive women (referred to as pickup) uses this mentality quite often. Most males don’t recognize that their biggest fears are actually with small, sweet / kind, women. See how easy it is to approach the hottest woman surrounded by all of her friends…

    Anyway, it applies to this because you only have the confidence to do so when you recognize that you are enough. When you put away the self-consciousness that holds you back, you are able to do things in a way that leads to more success in general. Same applies for a business that you want to start, etc.

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  • Myrko Thum

    May 12, 2013

    Realizing that “you are enough”, no matter what happens on the outside and independent of the judgement of others, makes you strong inside. A perfect state to face a challenge (like approaching someone new, or entering into a new business etc.)

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  • En En

    July 9, 2013

    How appropriate this post is! Once in a while, I feel a sense of unworthiness for a period of time till it wears off or vanished from other projects/commitments in my life that took my mind away from it, then sometimes it comes back again when typically I’m unable to produce the end results that a boss/clients were expecting, like now.

    A little different perspective to the comments above but the unworthy feeling is exactly like a child who’s unable to get full marks or first in position in school and the parents reprimand him/her as stupid as well as that feeling you get when your partner is mad at you cos you are not able to meet his/her ideal standards? I mean, who set these expectations/limitations? who are they to say what’s ‘good/bad/worthy/unworthy’ to another person?

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  • Teenager

    January 11, 2014

    Thank you for the amazing article. Now I can really feel like I can just be myself at every situation in life, because after all, being yourself is the way to go :D

    ReplyReply
  • Roger

    March 5, 2014

    I would like to thank you about all your articles…. they are so inspiry and helpfull….
    Keep going, i hate reading books but ure articles are attractiv and i would like to read more and more….
    Thank you

    ReplyReply

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