„When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.“ – Wayne Dyer
How to Get Out of Your Own Way
Most of the time we are our greatest enemy. From childhood on we are literally scripted like a program by things that were said to us by our parents, other close relatives, teachers or friends. Experiences that happen to us also are stored in our memory and our brain is making conclusions about what we can do and more importantly, what we can’t or shouldn’t.
This way of experiencing reality results in a set of rules that become our belief-structure and therefore our mirror of „reality“ and as an important part of it our own identity. But this reality isn’t a fixed thing, it is an image, a perspective we have in our minds. If it comes to our own self these beliefs can be supporting for us, or limiting.
It is very important to realize, that these beliefs are not reality. Reality is a relative construct. Beliefs are thoughts in our head that have formed an image of the world, that we work with. But it is not reality.
You may not even be aware of such self-limiting beliefs, but certainly they are there inside. Even if you made a lot of personal progress in working on yourself, there are a lot of areas were limiting beliefs are holding you back.
Beliefs Are Not Reality
For instance the belief that the earth is flat was a belief of that many people were certain about. Also that the earth is the center of the universe was a belief that was „reality“ and people lived by it, until there came Galileo Galilei in 1610.
Let’s look at some areas, where limiting beliefs are common, for instance about money. Have you ever heard „The rich get richer and the poor stay poor.“ Or a more subtle belief is „Money is not important“ or „you have to work extremely hard to achieve financial success“ or even worse „Money is not for me.“
In the area of the mind there may be the belief „I am not intelligent or smart enough.“ or „I am a pure logical type and can’t show my emotions“.
On the social level maybe there are beliefs like „I am not good with people.“ Or „I am not attractive to the opposite sex.“
Or such general beliefs like „I am too old.“ or the opposite „I am too young.“ And my all time favourite: „I don’t have enough time.“
Even if you can’t recognize yourself in these beliefs, there may be other rules, that you are holding true for you but which are not supporting your true nature.
Beliefs Are Co-Creating Your Reality
If such rules are working deep in our subconscious mind, are even held for the reality, these limiting beliefs are constantly influencing and distorting our possibilities and lifes. If you can become aware of these and identify them, you are able to change them, and by that, change your reality for the better.
One very true statement from the very successful Life-Coach Anthony Robbins I recall is „The past does not equal the future, unless you live there.“ This says that in a way we are constantly acting as the fortune-teller for our own life. If we live by limiting beliefs formed in the past, conscious or subconscious, we are doomed to repeat the results of the past over and over and thereby reaffirming these stupid belief-structures.
The importing thing is to have empowering beliefs, so that we are supporting ourselves instead of standing in our own way.
How to Change Limiting to Empowering Beliefs:
The first step is to become aware of the limiting beliefs we have. To make this easier I suggest thinking and discovering the limiting beliefs in the following areas:
Write down the most limiting belief you have about:
1. About money:
2. About romantic relationships:
3. About success:
4. About my dream:
5. About myself: I am …
5 Steps to Change Limiting Beliefs Right Now:
Now you will take these 5 limiting beliefs and turn them into beliefs that empower you. Then you will „install“ that new belief, until it has replaced the limiting belief.
As an example, if you wrote above: „Money is not important“ you could write down as a new belief: „Money flows to me naturally by my service to others“.
Taking the 5 beliefs above, what are the beliefs that empower you now:
1. About money:
2. About romantic relationships:
3. About success:
4. About my dream:
5. About myself: I am …
I find this post so helpful . Belief is one of my challenge and limit to success. And hope through learning I will be able to change my mindset.
Hi Myrko Thum, Thank you so much, I found this post and 7 Steps to set your life goals useful and highly effective. I have spent the last couple of days knowing that I should do my life goals but didn’t know how to start I.E a process.
These articles are easy to follow and effective that I actually followed through and wrote them down.
So thank you,
Hi. I am Margaretha from Indonesia. 4 years a go my weighed was 72 kg with size 16. I always wearing jacket every day to cover myself and I always feel cold. I was fat, stressful and depressed. I blamed my „evil boss“ because he saw me as a thread. But thank God, I read a book about crossing over. I should not let myself down and I actually contributed. So every night I pictured myself being slim and change the negative though. I learn ballet for adult and then belly dance. I have a private class at home (I modified my living room like dance studio) and move from point A to point B. Thought, ideas are very powerful, the driving force that push us to move. Now from size 16 I am down to 8. Halleluyah. I used this format to enrich other part of my life
Many times, it is our self-limiting beliefs that stop us to follow our dreams.
I strongly believe that life is living, loving, and learning. As we live every day it very much important to do all three of the above, if not two per day them I believe that you have for fail your purpose of living for that day.
I also believe that we most to perfection/ God like spirit every day to be able to complete our daily purpose of living.
I also believe that the more you give the more you get.
The more you love people, the more you will be hated by other.
The truth remains that only God can pay us for all that we do, but not man.
Superb post thanks I think it will not happen a miracle by these posts we become aware to know our weak points in our life and try to eliminate them and getting better and we should compare ourselves with our past obviously it would be better and when we look at ourselves we see we are more competent than before so we will have more opportunities than before to use .it is a fact too
Simple, but I have little way to format my old beliefs into new ones. I may not be as worthless as I tell myself I am, but my looks and social phobia make me undesirable and my dream job of being a writer will ultimately leave me poor.
Simple, yet so effective. There are many people i would love to share this article with.
Those persistent and hidden programs in our subconscious can be a bit tricky – that is what led me to diligently study, learn and share NLP and other methods that enable us to bypass our conscious mind and directly address the subconscious mind. I believe that is what Albert Einstein was inferring when he mentioned not solving problems with the same way of thinking that created them…
It was useful but I needed more example .
My insecurities have been getting the absolute best of me lately. I have been having an inner conflict of the new positive me and the old insecure self doubting me battling one another. I just need some ingaight
@naresh(from india): Naresh, you got to find a way and fight for your dream. I think on this site you can find a lot of encouragements and techniques. I would start to visualize your dream and go on and set some concrete goals (like finding a team, a coach, train regularly etc.) with a time when to reach them. This creates motivation and drive. Then find actionable steps to make the goals happen and do something every day. You may also want to look at my time management and productivity articles. Good Luck!
Hi Glynis, yes, everyone has different focus and passions in life. Fortunately, finding limiting beliefs works regardless of the content of the belief. Glad you liked it!
I really liked this post. You showed how to overcome the limited beliefs in a way that is quite useful. I’m one of those who isn’t enthralled with making money. I guess that makes me one who receives what is needed when it is needed. It make life for me more worthwhile because it isn’t a central point.
i read all the articles given everyday but at the end of the day i come back to old habits and thoughts . My dream is becoming a soccer player but there are very less oppurtunities in india to become a soccer player,and thats one reason i feel that i cant become a soccer player and even other factors such as there is no time for practice and no proper coaching system
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Heriberto, I sent you an email.
i always believed that negative beliefs can ruin ones life
thank you for writing that post, pretty helpful
“In-fact, I think the worst thing you could do would be to aim for success in an area that you have no passion for.”
So true. I made the same mistake. A few years back, because I thought the money was good, I got into mortgages and eventually opened my own branch. Boy, what a mistake, and not just cause of the timing. The truth is, I did not want to be a mortgage person. I did not tell anyone I was, unless it came up. It was not something I was personally proud of.
Since I gave it up, and focused on what I love (writing & video), I have achieved more personal success in theses 6 months, than in the last 3 years combined.
most of the time I just avoid to take steps if there is even 50% chances of failure. I have a deep fear in my subconscious mind of being failed. only because of the people specially my family and relatives will feel and think that I am not good enough or not hard working enough.
Samantha, of course that is totally ok. I like to think of beliefs more as something that should support and empower us. Because with it we create what happens next. With a belief like „Finding a Job is easy“ you support yourself and you are giving yourself and others hope. Hope is not enough, you give yourself to Power to create the future you like. And you dont get dragged down by the past of beliefs of social conditioning. Sure you have to accept the fact that there is unemployment, but from that moment on you plan to creating something else. So now you have to align yourself with what you want to create. And the belief „Finding a job is easy“ does that. And the belief is right. The same way as any other negative belief is relatively right. You want to belief what is supporting you because that is determining your actions, there is the power.
And what do you think about beliefs that maybe are „common truth“. Like when there is economic crises and you know the figures of unemployment, do you think that it’s possible and it’s ok to believe that „finding a job is easy“ let’s say?
Thanks in advance.