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“Everyone smiles in the same language.” ~ George Carlin

Seriously… what is happiness to you?

It means different things for different people. Still, as also the Dalai Lama said, everybody on this planet is seeking happiness. It is something that unites all of humanity.

Happiness is something that you can’t really chase on it’s own.

Instead happiness comes as a by-product of doing the right things in life. Having the right habits, the right thoughts, the right beliefs, the right decisions, the right actions, the right people around you…

I recently found a very inspiring and thought-provoking definition of happiness given by Deepak Chopra, which goes like this:

Happiness is the continuation of happenings which are not resistant. [Tweet this!]

Non-Resistance

What does that mean? “Happenings which are not resistant.” It means that if you don’t have any resistance inside of yourself or from the outside world, you get a sense of flowing with life. Life becomes supportive and feels effortless.

How can you reach a state of non-resistance? I think the answer is two-fold:

1. Do the Right Things

As I said above: nothing is beats a right way to live. And this simply means that you are doing what is good for you (and for others). It also means that you get away from or resolve what is not good for you. Develop the kind of awareness which makes it possible for you to consciously recognize what is good for you and what not. Doing regular self-reflection is a great way to do this. Self-reflection done right is an opportunity to lead yourself – you become the leader for yourself. You say to yourself what is right for you, and then you give yourself the command of what to do. Then you just do it.

2. Letting Go of Resistance

The second way of flowing with non-resistance is to avoid creating resistant states of mind in the first place. Resistance means that you have a reaction inside of yourself that works against what just happened. It is blocking your energy-flow and maybe it is creating negative thoughts and emotions.

What you could do instead is accept the situation for this moment – not resisting to it – and then go with an appropriate reaction to it. That way you are not polluting your mind with negativity and cloud your decision making process. You have a way to stay clear inside and therefore make the right decision which is supporting you 100%.

This alone presupposes that you develop the kind of awareness, the gap between thoughts, that give you control about your though processes. One key to get there is to realize that you are not your mind, you use your mind.

What Else Leads to Happiness?

Working on yourself and doing personal development is a great investment to have more happiness in your life. You need to grow and you need to contribute and create value for others in order to be truly happy. And happiness is not only a state focused on one single area in your life. If you want to be happy long term you also want to create balance in all your areas of life.

I’d like close this post with a quote from the Dalai Lama again:

“I believe that the very purpose of life is to be happy. From the very core of our being, we desire contentment. In my own limited experience I have found that the more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being. Cultivating a close, warmhearted feeling for others automatically puts the mind at ease. It helps remove whatever fears or insecurities we may have and gives us the strength to cope with any obstacles we encounter. It is the principal source of success in life. Since we are not solely material creatures, it is a mistake to place all our hopes for happiness on external development alone. The key is to develop inner peace.”

8 comments

  1. ZenPresence.com Reply October 5, 2012 at 6:49 am

    It took me a long time to catch on to “letting go of resistance”, but it works and is very freeing. We spend so much time resenting the way things are instead of accepting and moving on in a direction of our making.

    Thanks,

    Dan Garner
    http://ZenPresence.com

  2. Myrko Reply October 5, 2012 at 9:19 am

    When learning it, sometimes it can be a challenge to notice when you need to say “no” and resist something again ;-)

  3. Roshmi Reply October 14, 2012 at 1:22 am

    When your focus is on caring for others, doing the right things for yourself can be challenging. I try to seek a balance.

  4. Myrko Reply October 14, 2012 at 5:06 am

    @Roshmi: is this the classical conflict of caring for others and care for yourself? In the way that when you are nice to other people you get taken advantage and run over by them? I think what you first have to have is a strong foundation inside yourself, so that you always come from a point of own integrity and authority. Helping others is never a compensation, but a sharing. That’s how I think balance between taken care of others and yourself is becoming easy!?

  5. Roshmi Reply October 14, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    @Myrko: very true words about having a strong foundation within.. That’s what pulls you through. Great reminder. Wonder why we need so many reminders :)

  6. Harry @ GoalsOnTrack Reply October 24, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Aristotle said that happiness is produced by doing virtuous activities. Happiness is linked with activities, we have to move, act, do something to generate happiness, but not everything, it must be things that are virtuous…, good things. It’s one of the best sayings on happiness I’ve learned so far.

  7. Myrko Reply October 24, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Harry, virtuous activities sounds about perfect. Yes, striving and actually doing virtuous things is great to feel happiness.

  8. Ales Reply December 28, 2012 at 12:19 pm

    Am I Happy? are you happy? Most of us doesn`t know meaning of happiness, and many of us are not sure about happiness, with easy words, happiness cann`t be defined. Most of people are missing happy life. what we invite to do is to make yourself as happy as possible among all the tensions and all the stresses, thats what is happiness. when i express about my feeling I am happy, that means i got something I love. that thing makes me happy.

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