I recently got the following email from reader Megan who looked to get clarity for making life-changes. She was kind enough to let me publish her feedback here. I share it because I think it’s representing the kind of problems we all face, so let’s see how to solve them:
“It seems to be helpful getting these emails from you…all of this – your words and Tolle make so much sense to me I always feel so enlightened. But I find myself always getting side tracked and being indecisive and then settling for opposite of what my “desires” are.”
After that I wrote back: “…why do you think you settle for the opposites? Are you afraid of what might happen if you go for your desires? Let me know, maybe I can do a whole post about the topic!”
“I think what happens is I get focused on a goal but I don’t follow through with it, it’s like an attention disorder. I end up getting side tracked on my job, my relationship, relaxing or being a “polar bear” especially after work. And I start to settle in this every day routine. And I know that I should be doing more towards my passions, I’m not doing what I love and I don’t really know where to begin to get myself in the right direction to do what I desire, especially when I struggle with focus and getting my mind to stick to something. I’m not sure this makes sense…?”
In fact, this makes perfect sense. From experience I know that many people have these challenges in their life. The problem occurs when you get caught up in your everyday routines which do not help to make the important change that you want. Changing your life is a challenge in itself and it takes energy and consistence to make a change stick. So in order to make a positive change, as for instance going after your passion, you need to make room for the resources you need: time, energy, focus. But how can you do that?
The answer: Clarity.
The clearer you are about your goal, the easier it will be to make it happen. Make a real and sound decision to change something, and then never look back. Think about what you want and then write it down as a clear goal. Keep this goal around you. Also visualize your goal by seeing the result you want in your mind. Maybe draw it out or create a vision board. Seeing your vision in your mind has the power to create a tremendous drive in you. This will make any change much easier because now you are naturally drawn to it.
Keep it simple. Simplicity is the key to get things done. If you have difficulties getting the result you desire, try to do fewer things at a time. This way you are able to concentrate your energies which will help a lot. Don’t try to change everything at once, do one small step at a time. Then the next one will automatically follow after that. Change is often the succession of small steps. So start with your one clear goal – and then make a short plan what to do for it. And then start with the first point of the list.
So clarity is the first answer. Create clarity of what you want first, remember the clearer you are and the more specific, the easier it gets.
And the second answer: Get Resourceful!
Of course you need the resources to get to your dream. So we need to figure out where to get those resources, which are mainly: time, focus and energy.
For focus and energy I already wrote comprehensive guides where I put a lot of thought into which will definitely help you:
And for time… well you will make the time if it is important to you. You just have to make it a priority in your life. With the new found clarity from above, this will be easier. You have to so “no” more often in order to say “yes” to the most important things.
What will help is if you learn the basics of time-management, so here is the 3rd guide from me: