Say No — to Say Yes to What Matters

Say No

Today I want to share a very simple, yet very critical time-management skill that usually is underestimated.

But not having this skill can seriously sabotage your best efforts to get things done and to move towards your goals in life.

The skill I’m talking about is to say no — primarily in your mind — to everything that is not what you really want.

Sure there are a gazillion opportunities out there waiting for you to jump on them. There is so much information and advice waiting to devour your attention. And of course, there are dozens of things on your to-do list waiting to get checked off.

But what is the one thing that is all about you?

What one thing is expressing your core dream?

Absolute Clarity

Saying no in your mind doesn’t mean becoming ignorant. Instead saying no helps to purify of your mind. It clears the fog and makes space for what is more important.

Saying no means clarity. [Tweet this!]

Clarity.

This is just a word, but have you ever experienced how this really feels?

When you a 100% certain that this is it. This is the thing you want to do — nothing else. It’s a beautiful situation to be in.

It’s that kind of clarity that empowers you in every action you take.

Because you just know. You don’t have to think and ponder and search for new ways. You just know your way, and you just go it.

Of course, this presupposes that you also really know what you want. Otherwise, there would be confusion. Because there would just be a big question mark in that space where your BIG YES should be ;-)

What is Your Big Yes?

When we take a look at time management there are two fundamental questions for every single task:

1. Is this urgent now?
2. And is this really important to me? (as in your #1 priority)

Regardless of how you answer the first question, eventually you only want to spend your time on to-dos where you answer the second question with yes.

Time management often seems complicated. But at it’s core, it all comes down to this one single thing:

You only want to spend your time on what is really important to you. [Tweet this!]

This is the essence of clarity.

And it sounds easy, but in reality it’s not. Because in reality it can be difficult to distinguish between urgent and important.

Separate the Urgent from the Important

For instance we have everything that you say is important, but it’s not. That means there is a tendency in all of us to rationalize things to be important, when in reality they are either one of two things:

1) an escape (its really neither important, nor urgent)
2) an illusion (of importance, because it is urgent)

So when it comes to being productive in your working time (not necessarily in your spare time), you want to eliminate these two.

CURE 1)

The first is what we call procrastination.

We know that we’re escaping, but we still do it somehow.

And the solution to this is to have a strong enough why. A strong reason, a goal that drives us forward — even through fear — because it’s so compelling.

CURE 2)

And when you’re faced with a lot of tasks that are not important, but seem pressing, urgent… then it’s finally time for you to say no to them.

Imagine… if you could eliminate half of the tasks you have on your to-do list right now, by finally realising that these are actually not important to you.

So ask yourself these critical question:

1. Is what I do right now having a long-term impact for reaching my goal?
2. If yes, is this my #1 priority right now?

About the author Myrko Thum

I'm author of this site and I could coach you to make a giant leap ahead in your personal life and your business. I founded Personal Breakthrough Academy, a powerful personal development video course to create your personal breakthrough. Sign up below to get started:

13 Comments

  • Ludvig Sunström

    February 9, 2014

    Well said/written, Myrko!

    I think one of the best practical applications of this, is when it comes to browsing the Internet. There’s way too much information and “cool stuff” to click on. But 90 % of it has nothing to do with what you’re currently trying to accomplish.

    ReplyReply
  • Myrko Thum

    February 10, 2014

    Spot on Ludvig, very good example!

    ReplyReply
  • Remez Sasson

    February 10, 2014

    A good post Myrko,

    You are absolutely right about separating the urgent from the important.

    Often, we make believe that certain activities are important, and therefore, we should take care of them first. However, many of these activities are just time wasters.

    There is often, a tendency to procrastinate the urgent things, because they require time and effort. We build in our mind the illusion that there are other, more important things to do, which justify our procrastination and not taking care of the really urgent things.

    ReplyReply
  • Myrko Thum

    February 10, 2014

    Yes Remez, if we have a powerful BIG WHY that pulls us towards the important tasks, we are golden (1).

    To stop doing urgent, but unimportant tasks, we have to say no (2).

    ReplyReply
  • Wan Muhammad Zulfikri

    February 12, 2014

    One place that I find it so hard to say “no” is while I’m in a bookstore. Looking at all those books, I’m tempted to think that I should buy everything I am interested even when it doesn’t fulfil my needs currently.

    I guess I forgot to ask Why I’m going there to the first place.

    Thanks for the reminder, Myrko.

    ReplyReply
  • Myrko Thum

    February 12, 2014

    Haha very nice example, Wan. I just bought 4 kindle books myself two days ago and started 1 up to page 20 so far ;-) This happens to all of us — we want to do more than we actually can. Inside, we need to say “no”.

    Limit yourself to get more done.

    ReplyReply
  • Wan Muhammad Zulfikri

    February 12, 2014

    @Myrko Thum:

    “Limit yourself to get more done.”

    I’ll do that next time, Myrko. :D

    I have almost 10 books fresh in a bag right now. Oh well…at least one’s almost finished(it’s a short one)..

    ReplyReply
  • Lisha

    February 24, 2014

    Hey Myrko, This post is coming at a time in my life when I am just finally realizing this and so reading this post just gives me that much more motivation and enthusiasm for doing what it takes to finally accomplish my number one goal in life at the moment, and not let anything stop me. There are so many excuses, which seem rational, but we’re actually able to control whether we let these things take over or not. And now’s the time for me to take control! :)

    Thanks Myrko!

    ~Lisha

    ReplyReply
  • Myrko Thum

    February 24, 2014

    Awesome Lisha. Let’s focus on what’s our highest priority and let’s tart some positive momentum here!

    ReplyReply
  • Troy S.

    March 1, 2014

    Remember when Derek Sivers said, “No more yes. It’s either HELL YEAH! or no.”? I try to live by that.

    ReplyReply
  • Myrko Thum

    March 2, 2014

    That philosophy should serve you—and anybody else—well, Troy.

    ReplyReply
  • Suseela Vasudevam

    March 7, 2014

    Interesting article.

    ReplyReply

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