Ok I decided to open up a new category here called “Ask Myrko”.

This is where you can send me your questions and every Thursday I will pick one that I think is interesting for most people and answer it.

I already got hundreds from you (from those of you who signed up on my newsletter and typed in their question afterwards).

So here is the first one, and its an interesting one:

How Can I Stick to My Goals?

“I create goals in my mind every night. And every day I try to live them but I end up doing the exact opposite of what I want to do, and I don’t understand why. How can I stick to the personal goals I set for myself?”

“I end up doing the exact opposite of what I want to do…”

Interesting.

First of all, make sure that these goals are actually goals you really, REALLY want. Something with high long-term value. Only those are real goals.

Everything else is just something that would be nice to have today (and may be forgotten tomorrow).

Make it a few but important goals. If you have 20 goals, you basically have no goal. Because you just can’t keep your focus on that many goals.

You can find those goals by going through a proper goal-setting exercise.

If those are real goals you have, and you still have a hard time moving towards them…

I can tell you exactly why this happens.

One word: Fear.

You most likely fear the consequences of what happens when you reach your goals.

The fear of failure goes:

“What happens if I fail? What happens when my big dream won’t come true? What if I just don’t have what it takes? How disappointed and worthless will I feel?”

And the other side, the fear of success goes:

“What happens if I succeed? How will my life change? Am I really ready for that? What new challenges will come to me? Do I really want all that?”

The problem with fear is that it’s coming from the unconscious “reptilian” brain. And that might be in conflict with our conscious goal-setting.

The moment you get aware of your fear, you have a chance to overcome it.

Another word: Beliefs.

If you set goals that are in contrast to your beliefs and your values, you will get inner resistance.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t set those goals.

On the contrary.

After all, compelling goals have the power to pull you towards a better life. That’s the power of goals: they work best if you really want to make a change.

Run a Check on Your Beliefs

What you can do is to get awareness about your beliefs.

For instance complete the following sentences:

“I want to reach my goal, but _________.”
“I haven’t reached my goal, because _________.”

Fill in the blanks and you will find some interesting limiting beliefs.

This is pretty powerful stuff. So do it!

And then you can even change your beliefs, so that they don’t limit you, but support you in your goal achievement. What a concept!

The third word: Habits.

When you set new goals that pull you out of your comfort zone and need you to form new habits, or give up old habits, you will feel resistance.

That’s something we call habit gravity.

The moment you start to form a new habit, your old habits that are in contrast to your new habits will pull you back down.

For instance when your goal is to start running every morning, you might do it the first 2 days. Then your old habit of sleeping longer will show his ugly face and resist the creation of your new habit.

So you have to escape this habit gravity. And that’s done by…

The last word: Focus.

You can radically improve your goal achievement if you learn how to focus your mind on your goals.

If you’ve set a powerful goal, a goal that is representing what you deeply desire inside, then your mental focus is your tool to make this goal your reality.

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” ~ Stephen Covey [Tweet this!]

People think focus means to decide what to focus on. But in reality, this is not the main thing.

The main thing is to say no to all the things you could do, but which would distract you from your goal. To stay focus you need to learn to say no.

So learn stay focused on your goals and you’ve gone the next step.

About

Hi, I’m Myrko Thum and author of this site. I help entrepreneurs to create and sell highly profitable information products and scale up their business online. I also created several online training programs, among others Info Product Masterclass and Personal Breakthrough Academy. If you want to learn more click here to get started!

16 comments

  1. Comment by ANDAMA MOSES

    ANDAMA MOSES Reply October 8, 2015 at 11:44 am

    They are really great goals, the biggest problem is how to achieve them and lack of enough capital to manage the business.

  2. Comment by hal

    hal Reply September 19, 2014 at 12:58 pm

    Myrko,
    Somehow I tend to get distracted from my goals without noticing it. I seem to drift away by thinking about to many things at one time. I need to practice focus and awareness more. To really study and think about what I REALLY want. This may be an important key for me. We all seem to have a particular area of goal setting that holds us back. We have to discover what it is.

    • Comment by Myrko Thum

      Myrko Thum Reply September 22, 2014 at 2:42 pm

      Hal, do you use some kind of system to keep your goals in front of you?

  3. Comment by Maryam

    Maryam Reply September 18, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Hi myrko
    I do agree with your steps for achieving our goal,but I think we should assess our talent and ability for that goal too ,we should concern that is this goal obtainable for me or not?I know everything is almost possible .However,too much pressure is not good in other word to think about how much effort and pressure and time must be spent to gain a goal and at what price i will gain it and we should be careful not to hurt ourselves.

    • Comment by Myrko Thum

      Myrko Thum Reply September 22, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      Yes but that’s a fine line: you could also hold yourself back with that way of thinking.

      Of course there are situations when its appropriate.

  4. Comment by Naomi Dinsmore

    Naomi Dinsmore Reply July 5, 2014 at 3:21 am

    Hi Myrko,

    I have no problems completing 4 of the steps you mentioned.

    But my biggest problem is the ‘habit gravity’. Mine is pretty dam strong!

    I’m fine getting over the struggle of the 2nd/3rd day. But what I find is when I ‘think’ I’ve broken the habit I allow it gradually slip it’s way back in. Before I know …. I’m back to old habits.

    Thanks

    Naomi

  5. Comment by nasrin

    nasrin Reply June 22, 2014 at 8:01 am

    Hello myrko thum. I live in Iran I found your site very very beneficial.

  6. Comment by Myrko Thum

    Myrko Thum Reply June 21, 2014 at 9:54 am

    @Frankie, you made a very good point. A goal fuelled by passion and a burning desire, or in other words a purposeful goal, connected to our big why, doesn’t lose its motivational source over time.

    I think figuring out your fuel is indeed a step 1. Setting goals in aligned with it step 2.

  7. Comment by Frankie

    Frankie Reply June 20, 2014 at 3:24 pm

    Hi Myrko,

    I like how you put those steps into a logical steps for people to follow. I noticed when someone close to me ask “how to” do something, they only envision the results and not the process. Then when you explain it to them, all those “mental blocks” as you mention will surface.

    The only thing I want to add into goal setting, perhaps it might be of use for Jack or anyone is that passion plays a huge role.

    Over the years, I do a lot of goal setting and non of them really sticks. What I did notice, the ones that stick and kept me going are ones that solidly linked to my passion.

    Yes there is fear and disbelief that force me to quit every time. But afterwards I would think about that passion of wanting it and I would then just crawl back into the hole.

    Now I use a chart to record my focus, so I don’t get pushed off the rail. That helps a lot.

  8. Comment by Myrko Thum

    Myrko Thum Reply June 17, 2014 at 9:39 am

    Yes, I was working and testing a lot to define these 2 patterns. They can really dig into our subconsciousness.

    “Ask Myrko” is a nice way to help and to understand my audience as well.

  9. Comment by Ludvig Sunström

    Ludvig Sunström Reply June 3, 2014 at 7:07 pm

    Hey Myrko!

    This was my favorite part:

    “I want to reach my goal, but _________.”
    “I haven’t reached my goal, because _________.”

    Because it’s something I do a lot myself. It’s become a habit of sorts.

    I also like your idea with the whole “Ask Myrko” thing. Seems smart!

  10. Comment by Myrko Thum

    Myrko Thum Reply June 1, 2014 at 5:14 am

    Hey Troy, that’s an excellent point. It is in fact an example for the fear of success. And the fear of the unknown. Because in this particular case there is no plan, no certainty, after the goal is reached. So it feels uncertain to reach the goal. For people with a high need of security (opposed to risk) this is a valid point to look into.

    When you’re into the process and you realise that when you reach your goal you probably can continue the process, but on a new level, the uncertainty lessens and you start to develop a vision or plan for what comes after the goal.

  11. Comment by Troy S.

    Troy S. Reply May 31, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    I feel another reason many do not actually reach their goals is that reaching the goal means ‘the end’ and then what? So many are into the chase. Into the journey. Often there is disappointment when the outcome is met. I suppose that just means a new goal must be set but for some this is easier said than done.

  12. Comment by Myrko Thum

    Myrko Thum Reply May 31, 2014 at 7:26 am

    Hi Jack, I have a hard time following your statement here.

    When you want to reach a clearly defined and compelling goal and you end up doing the opposite of what you have to do to reach it (which was the question I answered here), I think one of the 4 ingredients of the post will help:

    1. Get Aware of Fears involved
    2. Check in on Beliefs involved (incl. Beliefs about yourself and the world)
    3. Check in on Habits you have that could be in conflict
    4. Increase your Focus (by doing less, and making the goal omnipresent) and take action

    That’s not meant to be a “cure” for the human condition. It’s meant to help you to reach your personal goals.

    But what about the goals where all those things were in place and still nothing happened?

    I don’t see how nothing will happen if you resolve all those 4 points successfully. If you like give me an example and we can continue the discussion.

    Yes, getting aware of the ego-plays and developing the inner drive to lessen those is a different thing.

  13. Comment by Jack

    Jack Reply May 30, 2014 at 5:58 pm

    That’s great for those goals where one knows they have not focused, been a little slack or just plain ole didn’t get off their ass, to achieve. But what about the goals where all those things were in place and still nothing happened? Fear? Let’s say for the sake of the argument that that is true … which it isn’t, entirely. Fear is just another ego tool and not the cause of the human condition. But let’s say fear was the cause … asking oneself those two simple questions ain’t gonna get anywhere near the core, yet alone solve the issue at hand. Looking for fish in the sky is an innovative fishing technique but a poor yielding one.

    Sincerely,
    Jack

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